A friend of mine who came to the final performance has blogged her thoughts about the show. I also heard back from Jon Kaplan, going into more detail about how he saw the show. Another friend has also talked at length about his problems with the show. It's all been very helpful.
At the closing party, there were a few people reminding me that in the end, I had to say what I wanted to say. That I was not doing it for other people's approval. That it was an achievement to just be there. All of which also made me feel better. They also bought me drinks. :)
Now that I'm getting some distance, I can see that one of the main lessons for me is to somehow find a way to be personally connected to the work without having my ego tied into it, to find detachment. On a metaphysical level, I brought my own worst nightmare on myself and got through it. Which may have been something I needed to go through to grow.
So what's next?
Well, I'm going to keep blogging, although the nature of this blog is going to change. I'll be talking more about work I've seen and will be linking to interesting articles elsewhere.
I'm also scheduled to be part of the 365 Days/365 Plays project. Most likely I'll have to do it as an independent artist as it doesn't really fit with one big umbrella's mandate. But I'm looking forward to doing it - really low stress, community-based, working with people I like, just discovering the joys of directing again.
And we're doing a postmortem on this show and deciding where we're going for future projects. That's enough to keep me busy for a while.