I found myself being nervous before today's show as well. I realized it's because my peers are coming to see the show and I really want them to believe that I belong in their company. I was really hoping this show would be a showcase for my talent. And yes, I'm deeply unhappy with how the rehearsal process went and feel that I failed in many ways, but the end result is good as far as I'm concerned.
So why did we get a bad review? I've only been told about it. I can't bear to look. Sedina says it's BS and we will continue to go forward. And that makes sense. The feedback I've been getting from the audience has been really favourable. They're recommending it to their friends. People have told me it's good and I've done a good job. On the flip side, the reviewer is someone I deeply respect, and there's my own self-doubts.
We really needed a good review, both to help our houses and for our next round of grant applications, so this is a huge setback. Needless to say, I'm very down about things at the moment and can't bear the thought of going to see other shows. Hopefully this is all just a dark night of the soul and I'll feel much better when tomorrow comes.