The previous post was written yesterday in long-hand. I just didn't have computer access to post it until now.
After that was written, there was a crisis of faith from one of the actors. It's pretty expected at this point in the process. You're right in the middle and you feel you won't find your way out in the time that's left. And if an actor has some personal stuff that's knocking him or her off balance, like this one did, it pushes you right into questioning why you're there.
So we did a lot of talking last night. The person talked about what they felt was missing, which was hard to hear because I thought I was doing a great job. However, if that person wasn't feeling safe, that is a failure because a large part of my job is to create a safe environment for the actors to experiment. It's best if I know that now so that I can do something about it. After all, this is a learning process for me. I want to always grow as a director and I am trying some different things this time. And I listened as the person talked and tried to find a way to help them get what they need, something we eventually did find.
In the end it's going to make for a better show because it's forcing me to be really detailed about each moment and how it should be. I can't slough things off if they're just ok. It's also making me be more open and aware as I reach out and try to help. And it really emphasized that this is a journey that we're all on together, a journey which goes beyond the play. We have things to learn from each other. We will grow from this time we're spending together and we will all be richer from the experience.